#listne here mf

[straykats]

vanitas no carte ep20

[tionte4]

if tell anyone this im sure they are going to tell me that im crazy and there are going to be some random person that finds and add me on this website that i have never used before i dont know what happened to me but i am not the same person that i was a year ago i feel like a b**** because i want to express my feelings but keeping them bottled make think of doing some unholy things and i say unholy because the things that may happen will be holy and im not sure if you quite caught that but i am a very good clever person its just im not sure who to talk about this i dont if need real help or i need a friend a pet anything to keep a smile on my face i keep running back and forth with different emotions i dont know if the things that goes on my mind or is it the things that goes on around me. evryhthing seems so fake and i might be the fakest one out of all but i dont know who i am actually i have done thingd i regrett and its like where can i go to not get judge nowhere everyone is going to have their own opinion about you no matter what you do kwwp your head up and keep going they say you should do but i dont know if im going ot be able to do that when i go to work being around all them people really fucking creeps me out i dont know why maybe becuase i dont get out enough but it seems like everybody looks at me as if they know me already so why not just say wtf is going on in my head already. thhey have poisoned my soul with these thoughts but i cant blame no one but myself i allowed for the shit to happen in the first place but no matter through it all i try to push away but here come the noise again. i have done evil things i know the right thing to do but i never do it because im going to fuck whatever good to come up but everyone believes im so great good guy i dont believe it i have the most negative mind music pleassee someone help me with some good music to listen to my phone is tap it want allow me to find nothing but gangsta music i guess thats what it thinks i want to hear all fucking day but that shit really have you readdy to kill a mf and damn and start to plan on how to do the shit i have thre craziest story of how i was gone set up all my friends but the shit just ended with my death in the end and what i finaly realized is i dont really have any friends and that if i died ion really think mfs really a give two fucks if i did hinestly everybody around where im from just want to set you up and make a quick buck off of you like damn i couldve just gave you the money thats the reason i came around you to make money in the first place and everybody just basically scramble shit thinking they helping me out but likee damn you got to dumb it down more and what i dont i showed them the money and still finessed i damn near put it in their hand i guess what i was giving was enough now mfs expect to go around asking and wallking around with my hand looking for help im jsut gone find some work and stay alive hoepfully i dont die. since everybody around me then made me well aware that they are smoking me already and leaving me and not to do what they doing but its so indirect though i just dont get it maybe i should address the slick shit they say as they pass me by or the slick looks they give me but like damn why yall so angry i want some money a house have a car but i thing the fucking motors about to fall out that mf and some pussy will be great its months maybe years since i then had some and its starting to feel like i dont know how to get some but i know once i start talking i just dont know how to shut the fuck and the things i want to say to you might be nice or mean because i have this switch i can cut on or off and that mf just like broke right now i think im so damn nonchalant and fucking quiet i been like this since longer then i can remember and its sicking me literally because now people are really talking about giving me fucking coronavirus i think i hope all these crazy thoughts that i have been having lately have been my subconscious telling me to do the right thing but who knows what the right thing is when money is involved and if other people are telling you do it like i really didnt even listen to my mother half the time when she told me to do things so why the hell would i listne to others and then i have an even harder time listening to myself telling mysekf that i shoudl do something but it sometimes seem as if i do do that it will interfere in my time but the crazt part about that i have nothing important to do im tryign to find shit to do and i then ran into shit to get me killed thats alll okayyyyy im doneee this is so much like i just can keep going im trying to stop but my brain is just going to keep running on about never ending things that i have no way of controlling any more yes i have lost and before that try to put me in any nut houseeee........